Understanding Anxiety in Young People: More Than Just Nerves

Breaking Down the Walls of Worry

When I meet with young people in my Colchester practice, anxiety often shows up long before they do. It arrives in the form of school avoidance, sleepless nights, or that constant knot in their stomach that they can't quite explain. If you're a parent reading this, you might recognize these signs. If you're a young person yourself, you might be feeling seen for the first time.

Anxiety in young people isn't just about being "a bit nervous" before an exam. It's a complex experience that can feel overwhelming and all-consuming. According to recent data from Young Minds, anxiety affects 1 in 6 young people in the UK, yet many struggle in silence, feeling like they should just "get over it" or "toughen up."

What Does Anxiety Actually Feel Like?

In my work as a psychodynamic psychotherapist, I've learned that anxiety rarely arrives alone. It brings with it a whole cast of characters: self-doubt, perfectionism, fear of judgment, and often, a deep sense of not being good enough. Young people describe it to me in so many ways:

• "It's like having a smoke alarm that goes off even when there's no fire"
• "My brain won't switch off, especially at night"
• "I feel like everyone is watching me and judging everything I do"
• "Sometimes I can't breathe properly and my heart races for no reason"

These descriptions tell us something crucial: anxiety isn't a character flaw or a sign of weakness. It's our nervous system trying to protect us, but sometimes getting a bit confused about what actually constitutes a real threat.

The Hidden Patterns Beneath the Surface

From a psychodynamic perspective, anxiety often develops as a way of managing deeper, more vulnerable feelings. Sometimes it's easier to feel anxious about an upcoming presentation than to sit with feelings of inadequacy or fear of not belonging. Sometimes anxiety becomes a familiar companion because it feels safer than the uncertainty of not knowing what comes next.

I often explore with young people how their anxiety might be serving them. This isn't about blaming them for their struggles, but rather understanding the ingenious ways our minds try to keep us safe, even when those strategies end up limiting us.

The UK Context: Pressures Unique to Our Culture

Young people in the UK face specific pressures that can fuel anxiety. The competitive nature of GCSEs and A-levels, university applications, social media comparison, and economic uncertainty all contribute to a perfect storm of worry. Add to this the lingering effects of the pandemic on social development, and it's no wonder that anxiety rates have increased significantly.

The NHS recognises that early intervention is crucial. CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services) has seen unprecedented demand, with waiting lists that can feel impossibly long for families in crisis. This is where private therapy can provide vital support, working within the BACP's ethical framework to ensure young people receive the care they deserve.

Signs That Anxiety Needs Professional Support

While some anxiety is a normal part of growing up, certain signs indicate that professional support could be helpful:

• Persistent worry that interferes with daily activities
• Avoidance of school, social situations, or activities they used to enjoy
• Physical symptoms like headaches, stomach aches, or difficulty sleeping
• Panic attacks or intense episodes of fear
• Declining academic performance despite capability
• Withdrawal from friends and family
• Difficulty concentrating or making decisions

How Psychodynamic Therapy Helps

Unlike approaches that focus solely on symptoms, psychodynamic therapy for anxiety explores the root causes and patterns that fuel worry. In our sessions, young people have space to:

• Understand the unconscious patterns that drive their anxiety
• Explore family dynamics and attachment patterns that may contribute
• Develop insight into their emotional world
• Build genuine self-compassion rather than self-criticism
• Learn to tolerate uncertainty and uncomfortable feelings

This isn't about quick fixes or eliminating anxiety entirely. It's about developing a healthier relationship with worry, understanding its messages, and building resilience from the inside out.

Supporting Your Young Person at Home

If you're a parent or carer, your role is invaluable. Here are some ways to support a young person struggling with anxiety:

Validate their experience: Avoid minimising their feelings with phrases like "just relax" or "don't worry about it." Instead, try "This sounds really difficult" or "I can see how much this is affecting you."

Create predictable routines: Anxiety thrives on uncertainty, so maintaining consistent routines around meals, bedtime, and family time can be incredibly grounding.

Model healthy coping: Show them how you manage your own stress and worries. This normalises the human experience of anxiety and demonstrates practical coping strategies.

Limit reassurance-seeking: While it's natural to want to comfort an anxious young person, constantly providing reassurance can actually reinforce anxiety patterns. Instead, express confidence in their ability to cope.

When School Becomes the Problem

School anxiety is particularly complex because education is mandatory, yet for some young people, school environments trigger intense distress. This might relate to:

• Academic pressure and fear of failure
• Social anxiety and peer relationships
• Sensory overwhelm in busy environments
• Trauma responses to past school experiences
• Perfectionism and fear of making mistakes

Working with school anxiety requires patience, understanding, and often collaboration with educational settings. The goal isn't always immediate return to full-time education, but rather building the young person's capacity to engage with learning in a way that feels safe and sustainable.

The Path Forward

Recovery from anxiety isn't linear. There will be good days and difficult days, breakthroughs and setbacks. What matters is that young people know they're not alone, that their struggles make sense, and that with the right support, they can develop the tools to navigate life's uncertainties with greater confidence.

In my practice in Colchester and online, I've witnessed remarkable transformations when young people are given the space to explore their inner world without judgment. Anxiety, while challenging, can also be a gateway to deeper self-understanding and authentic connection with others.

If you're a young person reading this, please know that seeking help isn't a sign of weakness—it's a sign of wisdom. If you're a parent, trust your instincts about your child's needs, and know that support is available.