I didn’t become a therapist because…
I didn’t become a therapist because I had it all figured out, actually very far from it. BUT I became one because I knew what it feels like to be stuck inside your own head, unable to express all the things that you’re thinking or feeling, often being in a loop of overthinking unable to see a way out and often criticising the smallest actions or reactions. I also remember that growing up I was made to believe that being vulnerable meant weakness and that no matter the circumstances I had to do it all, alone and failure was not an option. As you probably have guessed by now I am not a follower of these beliefs anymore but I am sure I am not the only person who had these experiences and this mindset.
Struggling with an overactive mind and a tough inner critic makes it near enough impossible to celebrate the wins, to see the progress and to accept that sometimes doing your best means getting out of bed, brushing your teeth and maybe replying to a few texts from friends or family. Living inside our heads can be extremely challenging because no one can see the inner dialogue, the constant battle between the hope and the critic who tries to rip away every ounce of confidence little by little, who sometimes is so convincing that your problems don’t really matter and someone, somewhere has it a lot worse than you so why don’t you just crack on? More often than not, we would treat literally anyone else with more kindness and understanding but when it comes to ourselves the story is quite different and the narrative changes.
‘Why am I like this?’ ‘Why can’t I do anything right?’ ‘I’m sure I’ve let them down.’ ‘They seem to handle it so much better than I am.’ etc
If you are familiar with this kind of thoughts, you know how difficult it might be to escape that spiral and the anxiety that comes with it. Some people think that self esteem is something you either have or you don’t the reality is much more complex than that. Over time, I learned that taking things slow is important, that some priorities are not exactly aligned with who we are becoming, that change is inevitable and flexibility is required. Confidence needs to nurtured and self-compassion is hard at times, but it has to become an active element and choice in our lives.
That inner critic? It never truly disappears, but we can learn to mute it or to talk back to it and actually lean into hope and self-believe. If you got to this point, I am sure you know the anxiety that comes with this spreads in all aspects of our lives and it can sometimes become overwhelming, especially the loneliness that sometimes comes with it too.
If you are feeling any of the above, I want you to know that reaching out for therapy is not a sign of weakness and it definitely doesn’t reflect failure. It’s a kind gesture to yourself and the first step in believing that ‘This too shall pass.’
If something I wrote resonated with you and you are looking to begin your journey in ‘muting your inner critic’ while being in a space free of judgement and expectations, please don’t hesitate to get in touch.
